My husband has been in the Army since late March 2010. Let me count the times that I have actually seen him since then.
1. Three days at the end of May for boot camp graduation.
2. Four days at the end of June. (This was without our son.)
3. Two day weekend in September
4. Two weeks (roughly, I can't remember) at the end of September through the beginning of October.
5. Thirteen days at the end of December.
6. Six days in March of this year.
7. Sixteen days at the end of June through beginning of July.
So, roughly I have seen my husband for 58 days. That is at the most. The least I've seen him is 54 days. I know that the Army isn't fair. But where is the fairness in that?! I would have had five months added to that if people actually did their damned jobs here and got me the sponsorship to make it out to Germany beforehand.
I just don't know what it's like being an Army wife. I think maybe I have washed my husband's uniform at the most 3 times. Never seen him in class A's. Never got a chance to be woke up for a good-bye kiss before work. Never got a chance for my husband to come home after a long day and eat a meal. Never once have I heard about what he did all day at work, or watch him sit and relax after working. I've had to say good-bye seven times in the past sixteen months. And all those times, I didn't know when I was going to see him face to face again. I'm angry, emotional, and feel as though I'm being made an example of. I'm so sick of being alone. Every night I make dinner, knowing that my four year old will only have a few bites. I have a plate. Then it goes in the trash. I make dinner what seems like for no reason. At night, after the baby goes to bed, it's silence is so deafening I can barely stand it. I have crazy dreams. I get scared and anxious if I don't hear from him, either facebook messages, skype, or phone call, everyday. My nerves are shot. The only way I go to bed is when my arms, hands and toes start clenching and curling painfully out of fatigue. (That is a new stunt that started while he was actually home for a change.) It's sad, I consider it 'normal' when he's gone now. When I said my last goodbye, and finally got back home, I said out loud, "now we can get back to normal." How sad is that? What in the hell did I sign up for. None of my neighbors had to deal with this. I feel robbed, and cheated.
